Dina: My Birthday “knegdô” (כְּנֶגְדּוֹ)

Dina: My Birthday “knegdô” (כְּנֶגְדּוֹ)

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This week is Dina’s 65th birthday, and as beautiful as she still is, I am banking on her not objecting to my giving her age. In honor of this day I want to share just a touch of our story. Yes, out of love and affection, and yes, a touch of sentimentality, but there is also a serious life lesson here for you and for me.

Late one Sunday afternoon, August of 2013, my cell phone rang from an 803 area code. I answered it to this, 

“Sam, you don’t remember me, but you spoke at my church a while back. (Ten years prior) This is Dina Grice. God told me to call you, and he has more than once before, but this time I feel that I cannot, not.”

(Now the reality is she was hitting on me, but she maintains it was God’s will. 😊)

I had been single for years, and was perfectly happy and incredibly content with my life. Even more so, I was growing deeper and deeper with Jesus. But over the ensuing weeks, then months, we slowly moved into a deepening relationship. I was still stubbornly single, though, and I informed God of this, in case he was not paying attention. His patient response was,

“Just be open to this, Sam. I am working on something you cannot yet see.”

As we progressed towards what looked like marriage, I again informed God, in case he wasn’t paying attention, I did not want to be married. His loving and patient reply was,

“Sam, I want you to marry Dina. I have two things I want to accomplish. The first is, I want you to shine the joy of Jesus into this family. They need it.

“And second, I want to show you just how far you still have to go in your spiritual journey. I am going to put a woman in your life – and not just any woman, Dina Grice! – to show you how selfish you still are, and how far away you are from the man I want you to be.”

And he was of course right. 

And he has indeed shown me and he has grown me.

“Helper Suitable”

So what?

When God made Eve for Adam, he said this,

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18 Bold added)  

“Helper suitable” in Hebrew is “knegdô” ** and it can mean either, ‘Equal to him’ and/or ‘opposed to him.’ It certainly does not connote anything even close to inferior.

Even more, the Hebrew word for “Helper” is “Ezer.” God is called “Ezer” several times in the Older Testament.

Hear, Lord, and be merciful to me; Lord, be my help (Ezer). (Psalm 30:10)

Surely God is my help (Ezer)**; the Lord is the one who sustains me. (Psalm 54:4)

My Heavenly Father wants and plans for me, and he wants and plans for you, to be conformed to the likeness of Jesus. (Romans 8:29) And as my friend Irv is fond of saying,

“There is no institution under heaven instituted by God better suited to mold and shape a person into the likeness of Jesus than marriage. There is little applause, and a lot of dying to self.”

Happy birthday Dina! 

You are God’s wonderful “knegdô” for me.

And I would not be the man I am today without you … sometimes opposing me – when I need opposing – and helping me to be conformed to the likeness of Jesus.
(** The phrase “ezer knegdô” denotes a relationship of equal, complementary partnership rather than a superior-subordinate role).